Warning: This one is kind of dark. So, if you are in a good mood, feeling optimistic and hopeful then, you may NOT want to read this. However, this story is indeed true......
Many years ago, and towards the end of my fathers tenure as a pastor, a young married couple began attending Sunday morning services. Their names were Tommy and Janet Castillo. Tommy was a rather rugged looking guy. It seemed he worked outside in the sun a lot because his skin was an almost ruddy complexion. He usually had his hair slicked back and he was a rather stocky man of an average height.
He had a particular suit that he wore almost every other Sunday that I saw him. It was a bluish grey color with a burgundy shirt and was always accompanied with the same paisley tie. Tommy looked kind of Guido in this suit. However, I liked the suit because it seemed to have a distinctive flare of originality. That is, unlike the plain slacks and white button down shirt I usually wore.
Janet was a brunette with a slim build and a bit shorter than Tommy as well as a bit younger. I was to learn later that she was only a year older than myself. She and Tommy had both met in high school and were high school sweet hearts. Tommy's father had a very lucrative business and he was about to retire and entrust it all to Tommy. Tommy had obviously, at least to some degree, proven that he was very motivated and a hard worker capable of such a task. So needless to say Tommy and Janet had a bright future ahead of them. As of that time they had no children.
A few months later my father transferred his pastorate to another church about twenty miles away in another county. However, a few loyal members followed my parents to their new church despite the distance. Two of them were Tommy and Janet Castillo. Although they attended my parents previous church, for a few months, it wasn't until the transfer of this pastorate that I became rather acquainted with the Castillo's. I liked them immediately. I guess it was because I was at the age where I was now an adult and I found myself getting along better with the adults than many in the singles class at times.
Because my parents were new to this church they needed to immediately organize people together to help them. Tommy and Janet were immediately chosen to help with the young singles and teens. They happily accepted the task.
My dad had always pastored very small churches that ran around seventy or eighty every Sunday. Sometimes dad would hold events that would draw a much bigger crowd (like gospel music events) but the actual weekly attendance was always rather small. As a young teenager I was always frustrated with this because there seldom was ever a solid youth group to hang out with. However, when my parents went to this church, that all changed. Tommy and Janet Castillo really helped out tremendously with that change.
Looking back on the whole situation I have to almost admit that the first few months at that church were some of the best I have ever experienced in any church my dad pastored. And, I must admit, he pastored quite a few churches in my lifetime. We finally had a large group of teens and young adults and even a spot for me as the drummer for a Christian rock band, which back in 1990 was somewhat cutting edge for a church; especially a Church of God church where the red book hymnal reigned supreme.
That summer was a great one. Not only was my family on somewhat of a "honeymoon" with their new church but I was in my first Christian rock band with the youth pastyor and other church members. Also an elder of the church helped me purchase my first vehicle that I was so proud of. I was making new friends with the youth and young singles and we went out every Sunday and Wednesday night to Pizza Hut or Shoney's. Woo hooo!
I know that's not much now but it really was twenty years ago. It was especially a big deal for me because I remember when there were so many other times when parents pastored other churches and the only ones to go out anywhere were my immediate family and a few elders of the church. I would always see these large church groups come in and wish that ours was like that. Now, however, I could rightfully make that claim; especially with Tommy and Janet helping as much as they did.
Anyway, Tommy and Janet Castillo took to everyone very well. I clicked with them almost immediately. We had some really good times together after church too. The entire youth group, with Tommy and Janet in tow, would always go to the Pizza Hut there in town. We usually reserved a table for at least thirty and always managed to tip well. Me, Dayron, and a guy named Mark would take turns playing an arcade game called, "Attack of The Robot Monsters".
It was such a cool game because it had such a vintage generic 50's horror movie title, not to mention feel, and was easy to play too. Mark, being the huge Metal fan that he was, would also throw down a bunch of quarters into the jukebox. Next thing we knew songs by Faith No More and the metal band Slaughter (Up All Night Sleep All Day!!) would be blasting out of the speakers. Let's also not forget Tesla as well. " Little Susie's growing up"! Hey, it was the summer of 1990 and Metal wasn't dead yet.
I was also pleasantly surprised to find out that Tommy and Janet lived just a few miles down the road from where I lived in Stockbridge. So, they gladly invited me over a time or two for some grilled steaks and all the diet coke I could handle. They had a cool house. The evening I went over Tommy was already out back with the grille fired up. Those flames were just broiling those steaks to sizzling perfection. We had a great dinner together and I left that house that night glad I had friends like them. That was truly a tremendous summer for me. However.....like all good things......it came to an end.
One of the things that the youth group did was attend teen conferences held by Precept Ministries International in Chattanooga, Tennessee. (My mother saw to it) It was always a great experience. We would get up there Friday night, go to classes, and then head back to the hotel and hang out all night. Then, with just a few hours sleep we would all pile in the vans and head back over for some good breakfast and morning classes. I always had so much fun with this group because there was never a dull moment.
I will never forget the time we had come back from a Teen Conference late one Sunday evening in the spring of 1991. I can remember being glad we got back so late because I didn't have to play drums in church and I could finally take a break for once.
I unloaded my luggage from the van and walked into the fellowship hall. I was ravenous so I made a b line straight for the table with all the junk food. I happily grabbed a small paper plate and piled it up with cookies, cake, corn chips, and other finger food. I just sat there and stuffed my face. I mean I was really hungry!
Then, I noticed my sister Sherdonna slowly walking in my direction. She stopped in front of me and simply asked, " Did you hear about Tommy Castillo"?
"No, I didn't. What about him?" I simply replied.
Sherdonna just looked at me and quietly said, "He hung himself".
Tommy hung himself? I just sat there stone faced. I didn't know what to say or even how to act. I just felt emotionally blunted, without feelings really. However, had my reaction been more reasonable, I probably would have dropped my entire paper plate full of goodies right in the floor. It was truly horrible news and it took us all by surprise.
Everyone liked Tommy and he seemed to have a lot of friends. I didn't even realize how quiet the place was and how everyone was talking in low voices when I walked in. I was so focused on the fact that I didn't have to play in church that evening and I could sit and enjoy some cake and cookies. I didn't even notice everyone was in a somber mood. Then, I thought of Janet. I felt so bad for her. Shortly afterward I heard someone say she wasn't handling it very well. But who would have?
I must say that I have known more than my share of people who have decided to take their own life for one reason or another. However, when Tommy took his it affected me differently than most. He was just a few years older than me and was just about to inherit his father's business. And, he honestly was the kind of guy that one would have never suspected to do such a thing.
What a senseless waste. That was the thought that kept ruminating over and over in my mind shortly after Tommy's death. I believe I spent the next day or two in a daze. I just couldn't believe Tommy was gone. I also felt really bad for Janet.
I never will forget the funeral either. There literally must have been hundreds of people there. I was stunned. I mean family, friends, business associates, neighbors, and acquaintances all came to show their respects. There were even a couple of guys I saw at the gym often who showed up. I used to see these guys alot and never had any clue they and Tommy were friends. I couldn't help but wonder what Tommy would have thought if he had seen all that. He died, by his own choosing...alone. However, in reality, all one could do is witness the large turnout to his funeral and know he was anything but alone.
Sadly though, the one who was left to pick up the pieces was Janet. I had always heard, and believed, suicide was wrong but that reality never really hit me until I walked into that room at the funeral home and saw what I did. There was Tommy lying in that coffin. He was dressed in his favorite blueish suit with the burgundy shirt and paisley tie per Janet's wishes. He almost looked like he was asleep with the exception of the fact that his neck was still very swollen. I didn't stare very long. I couldn't. I just looked over at Janet sitting on that small couch opposite the coffin and she was absolutely hysterical.. And, it can be truthfully said, it was all Tommy's fault. He abandoned her in one of the worst ways possible.
Dad preached the eulogy at the funeral service. He didn't speak long because what could he say? I remember I felt completely numb that entire ceremony. After it was over the funeral procession made it's way to a large cemetery in Jonesboro. The procession itself literally stalled traffic it was so long. I just remember the small burial plaque that had Tommy's name on it was near a tall tree. That is where he was buried.
It just seemed such a senseless end to a life that could have offered so much to friends and family. Such a thing usually leaves people without any closure whatsoever and those who are left have no choice but to pick up the pieces and move on. Janet, however, did just that. At least that is what I heard even though I haven't seen her since. She, according to my knowledge, even got remarried and had children.
However, It wasn't long after that horrible incident that I had an interesting dream. I dreamed that I was in heaven and I had just finished partaking of my share of the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. Of course this was just a dream. I remember getting up from the table and walking in the direction of huge stacks of dishes up against a wall. I guess that's where I was supposed to put my dishes or something. I remember laying my dirty dishes on the tall stack of other dishes and suddenly two double doors nearby swung wide open.
They caught my attention and when I looked in their direction I was shocked at who I saw. It was Tommy Castillo! I couldn't believe it! He was wearing a hair net and an apron. His sleeves were rolled up and he was also carrying a bus pan. I stood in utter disbelief as I watched him race over to a large table and quickly clean the dishes off into the tray. He seemed to be working as fast as he could. I just know I was happy to see him. I ran up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.
Tommy turned around and immediately recognized me. His face lit up and turned into that usual toothy dimpled grin. I said, "Tommy! What are you doing here? I honestly didn't expect to see you here. I thought that...."
"I know Dave." Tommy said calmly. "Your surprised to see me here because of what I did. Well, the Lord is merciful and His grace was sufficient to cover even what I did. And, even though I am a busboy and a dishwasher in heaven I can be eternally grateful I made it home anyway".
That's all I remember about that dream. I know it was just a dream and maybe it was my minds way of playing out a scenario that I could deal with. Or, perhaps there is some truth to that story as well and I was just visualizing it in a way I could comprehend. I honestly don't know if Tommy Castillo is in heaven or not. I do know, however, that if he truly believed in the resurrection of Christ, despite the fact he obviously had a crisis of faith, I don't see why he wouldn't be. Ultimately though; only the Lord knows for sure.
John 3:16-17, John 11:25-26, 1 Corinthians 3:11-15, 1 John 2:1-2
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